How God Used Community to Shape Thomas Into Someone Who Could Shape Others
Thomas Wong spent years trying to make sure no one saw his weaknesses.
From the outside, he looked capable. He worked hard, built a career and learned to solve problems on his own. But underneath, he carried a quiet belief that if people saw where he struggled, they might think less of him.
“My name is Thomas Wong. I am a husband and have been married for five years. I work full time as a hospital medical technologist. I am also the chief coffee roaster and co-founder, together with my wife, of a coffee roasting business. I have been at The Peoples Church for about 3.5 years and have led a men’s life group of 8–12 people for three years. Currently, I am investing in other men—helping them grow as disciples and equipping them to create the same kind of community for others.
Looking back, Thomas can trace that way of thinking all the way back to childhood.
Growing up with a learning disability shaped how he saw himself. Rather than risk being misunderstood, he often chose to stay quiet. Rather than let people see where he struggled, he learned to hide it.
“As a child, I struggled with low self-esteem because of my learning disability. I viewed myself as weak and often isolated myself so that others would not see my weakness. This behaviour continued through my high school and university years.”
That instinct followed him into adulthood. Even when his family introduced him to church, community didn’t immediately feel like home. Instead of finding a place where he could ask questions, he often felt like he had to prove he belonged.
“When my family first introduced me to Christianity and the church, I was a non-believer and felt very awkward attending Christian small groups because I thought my lack of knowledge would expose my weaknesses. The small group environment did not help, as people seemed judgmental. I often left feeling worse and wondered whether attending was a waste of time. At times, I felt I could have been doing something more productive that would bring greater strength and growth to my soul. Eventually, when life became busy during my school years, I stopped going to small groups and attending church. During that time, I also became overweight and struggled with mental illness, which further isolated me from others.”
Isolation slowly became normal.
So did self-reliance.
Thomas believed he could figure life out if he simply worked hard enough and dealt with his obesity.
Years later, after losing 70 pounds, getting accepted to an amazing job, and coming to faith, that same mindset found a new place to hide. He worked hard to become a Certified Nutritional Practitioner and subsequently built a wellness business, convinced that success would prove he was on the right path.
Instead, the business failed.
It wasn’t simply a financial loss. It exposed how much of his identity had become tied to something other than Christ.
“Even in the early days of my faith, I often relied on my own willpower and tried to make life decisions on my own. That became especially clear when I started a wellness business out of my own transformation, eventually losing a sizable amount of money, and my relationship with God declined to the point where I stopped reading the Bible. I believed in the prosperity gospel and thought God would bless my business. When that did not happen, it damaged my confidence and caused me to question my faith and theology. During that time, it was difficult for me to be honest and vulnerable about both my business failure and my poor relationship with God. I needed the Holy Spirit to help connect me to community.”
Sometimes God changes the direction of our lives by changing what we’re depending on.
For Thomas, that moment came through a single verse.
Matthew 6:33.
Not as a slogan.
As an invitation.
“When my business became an idol, the Holy Spirit brought Matthew 6:33 to my attention through a Christian book: “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” After reflecting on that verse, I realized I needed to close my business, refocus on Jesus, and seek help from my church community on how to live out this verse biblically in my life.”
Closing the business wasn’t the end of Thomas’ story. It was the beginning of a different one. As he opened himself to community, God began placing people around him who didn’t simply answer his questions.
They walked with him.
Mentors challenged him.
Friends encouraged him.
Teachers helped him understand Scripture more deeply.
Slowly, Thomas discovered that growing to become more like Jesus—and helping others do the same—was never something he was meant to do alone.
“I saw the value of having a community of men who could encourage one another and strengthen each other’s faith. Through one of my mentor’s recommendations, I went to Tyndale to have my theology shaped in a community of learners. As I obeyed God by going to Tyndale, He graciously blessed me with a wife, and together we were able to build a new business in a God-honouring way. In time, I began to see the latter part of Matthew 6:33 unfold in my life.
The biblical theology, Christian education, and spiritual formation I received at Tyndale also helped prepare me to lead a Life Group with men at The Peoples Church. There, I learned that small group leaders need to create a safe space where men can trust one another and find strength and victory in their struggles through Scripture, vulnerability, and honesty.”
That phrase—a safe space—comes up often when Thomas talks about community. Not because life is comfortable there. Because it’s a space where trust can grow through honesty, vulnerability, and confidentiality.
It’s where people can stop pretending. It’s where people can let down their guard and be free from judgment. It’s where Scripture is opened together in meaningful ways. It’s where prayer becomes more than something we do on Sundays. It’s where God shapes us through one another to love Him and others better.
“Being with other men has helped me grow in my relationship with God because they point out my blind spots and help me see Scripture through a different lens. They have also strengthened my faith during times of struggle by helping me stay focused on Jesus through prayer and reading the Word. In addition, being with other men has helped me become a better friend by teaching me how to love, care for, and encourage others more faithfully. My faith has grown as I have seen prayers answered and marriages reconciled.”
As Thomas grew, something unexpected happened. The same kind of investment others had made in him became something he wanted to offer someone else.
“As deep transformation took place in my mental health, marriage, and leadership through my mentors and teachers, I was moved by love to invest in other men and remind them that they do not have to struggle spiritually, mentally, or physically alone. In Christ, their identity can give them true strength and success as servants and leaders of God in every area of life (self, church, family, work, and business).”
Today, Thomas leads a Life Group for men. He’s also apprenticing new leaders—not because he has all the answers, but because someone once chose to invest in him. He wants other men to experience the same pattern of Christ-centred discipleship that reshaped his life.
“What excites me most is seeing the brokenness of men and their relationships restored through the gospel as they come to know Christ, grow in Him, and begin leading other men toward restoration.
It is a joy to walk alongside men in their discipleship to understand God’s heart and help develop them into leaders through life groups. Seeing healing in the members and new leaders emerging from my life group is what excites me most.”
Ask Thomas what he would say to someone who’s hesitant to join a group, and he doesn’t begin with an invitation.
He begins with a conversation.
He listens.
Then he tells his own story.
“I would listen to them first and then share my testimony of how God rescued me in my weaknesses, struggles, and failures through Christ and community, especially as it relates to what they are going through. Finally, I would pray for them and encourage them to join a men’s group.”
It’s a fitting response from someone who once believed strength meant never letting anyone see his weaknesses.
Today, Thomas understands strength differently. Not as independence. But as allowing God to shape us through His Word, His Spirit and His people.
When asked to complete the sentence, “Growing as a disciple of Jesus with other men has… been a catalyst for my spiritual and leadership growth.
Thomas’ story reminds us that discipleship isn’t measured by how much we know or how independent we become.
More often, it grows quietly as people invest in us over time. And as God shapes us through those relationships, He begins preparing us to do the same for someone else.
Every story begins with a first step.
For Thomas, it was allowing other men to invest in him—and discovering how God could use those relationships to shape him as a disciple and prepare him to invest in others.
If you’re looking for a place to grow, build meaningful relationships and take your next step as a disciple of Jesus, Intro to Life Groups is a great place to begin. Registration is now open and closes on SEP 16.
You’ll meet others, learn what Life Groups are all about and discover how community can become part of your own story.
We’d love to help you take your next step.